I can feel the tension in my back as I sit down to type this. Force my shoulders to relax. Take this moment and release.
He’s 5. He followed me around all morning asking me to come to his show. Handing me “tickets” of cut out white paper. Finally I went. Watched him do puppet shadow tricks on the wall. Listened to him talk about Moses in the basket.
Honestly, it was boring. I had so much to do. The older 2 still needed to finish school.
Later he was cutting up more tickets. I gave him a jar to put them in. And he said to me, “Kenan can have these when I die.” What? Die? You’re 5?
I couldn’t help but tear up as I asked him what he meant. Of course, he meant when he’s like “95,” but the thought lingered.
And I remembered Ann Voskamp’s words, “The way to experience unlimited elation may be to imagine unexpected limitation.” And then this, “It’s only when you realize everyone you love will one day leave you that you really begin to love.”
I walked over to that blonde-headed little boy. Picked him up and sat him on the kitchen bar. He giggled the whole time as I asked, “Do you know Mommy loves you?” “Yes.” “How do you know?”
He hesitated as I waited for…you cook me food, wash my clothes, read to me. But he said none of those. Instead he offered something simpler. Much sweeter. “Because you’re my Mom.”
I am blessed with another day to love on these kids. I’m blessed to be their Mom. Even though it doesn’t always feel like that.
And I’m blessed to know God loves me just because He’s my Dad. He can’t stop loving me. Won’t stop.
Slow down. Thank God for the now that will be gone tomorrow. Love big knowing a big God loves us.
What sweet joy!
“This is the LORD’s doing; it is marvelous in our eyes. This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:23-24)