I should get up before them. I know. I should exercise. And pray. And read my Bible. I should. And I have. But to be transparent, that’s not happening now. Not normally. Not in this season.
We’ve got 2 babies who feed off each other. If one wakes up at night crying the other is quick to follow. Most days I am bone-tired. And I lay in bed a lot of mornings til one of the babies forces me to get up.
That makes it hard for the things I consider necessities. I could condemn myself. Some days I do. In the past I probably would have thrown in the towel in all things related to pursuing God. If it couldn’t be perfect I would have thrown it out.
I used to believe that time with God meant quiet. It meant highlighter in one hand. Pen in the other. Journal close by. I hope it will mean that again soon.
But ultimately in this season I’m learning that God loves me no matter when we get to chat.
He loves our morning walks where I push 2 babies in the stroller and form half sensible prayers as the day’s plans threaten to take over. He loves it when I sneak into the bathroom with my Bible for just a few quick minutes. He just loves me.
And He sees my heart. He knows I’m a sinner. I can’t hide it from Him with my organized quiet times and perfectly executed plans.
He just wants me to want Him. He wants me to love Him.
And in this season He faithfully keeps speaking to my soul…no matter where we may find ourselves together!
Little hands help me keep my place (and expertly crumple pages!)
Here’s to time with God in the floor where I unzip Kenan’s pj’s in hopes he’ll stay calm a little longer!
“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12)
“If interruptions annoy me, and private cares make me impatient ; if I shadow the souls about me because I myself am shadowed, then I know nothing of Calvary love.” -Amy Carmichael