The stroller wheels rattled on the concrete as I pushed Esther to the end of the driveway and back again. Our early morning exercise before breakfast.
My mind wandered to the article someone had linked on my Facebook-“North Carolina church leader’s toddler killed in wreck.” It had similarities with an article written about us back in 2007-“Church keeping watch over family.”
I hurt deeply for them. I don’t understand. We are fools to ever say we understand someone’s pain. Is it possible to ever really empathize?
But I hurt.
Esther and I walk, and I point out the birds to her. And she points her little finger at the cows in the pasture to the left.
I think back to our days of uncertainty nearly 8 years ago. I curse the post traumatic stress that still haunts me at unexpected times. And I ask myself, “What was the one thing I wanted everyone to do when life spiraled out of control, and the pain was too real for words?
The cards were nice. The meals were great. The visits were special. But ultimately, when life hangs in the balance and there’s nothing you can do, prayer become the lifeline it should always be.
So I prayed as Esther and I walked. And I thought of Stephen, now a 9 year old, playing video games inside the house.
Somehow God is always good. I write the words as a way of forcing myself to believe them.
And I pray some more. For this young family. For the days ahead.
And I’m so, so thankful we have a Daddy with arms big enough to hold us and a heart of love that sees our tears.
“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”(Romans 8:38-39)