The room was quiet when I finally put words to my tired thoughts…”What if we can’t do this?” Jeremy hesitated then answered, “We can. We will.”
We had just finished the 2 am feeding. As my eyes closed Jeremy’s answer formed into this question…”At what point did I ever think I could do this?”
I have lived a life of self-sufficiency in so many ways and on different days. Am I kidding myself to roll over any morning and think I can parent these blessings the way I should? Have my feet hit the floor more days with good intentions and plans but no prayer? Is God my back-up plan when life goes haywire?
Forgive me, Father.
At 5 am Kenan woke again hungry. As I rolled over I prayed, “God, I can’t do this. Can’t. I’m counting on grace today. In the scripted. In the unexpected.”
And somehow in admitting my desperation there was peace. In finally accepting weakness strength took over.
May I not take grace for granted. Every piece of life’s tapestry is a gift from His hand. Every breath I take is pure goodness from Him. Yes, I’m bound to get tired. But He’s there waiting; wanting me to admit defeat and accept His strength.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Sweet babies of grace…