Notes from If-Part 8 (The last one!)

This is it…The last one. Whew! It’s from the night we got home from Texas…

I walk into Stephen’s room. It’s dark and quiet. But the Spirit speaks clearly…”Are you content if this is your ‘it’?”. What?

My it. My thing. The words of my epitaph. The calling I pour my life into. Am I content if this is my “it?”

This. This what? Mothering. Supporting. Reading books. Fixing meals. Teaching. Cleaning. Loving Jeremy. All this. The unnoticeable.

Am I content if this is my “it?”

Honestly…I have no idea. Has He increased so much and I decreased enough that any calling is a joy? Any chance to say “Yes Lord” trumps any plan I had for myself? I want to say yes. I do. But it’s all so sudden. So serious now.

No more wishing for more. Dreaming of different seasons. Staying home but most days wishing I was somewhere else. Getting irritated with the boys because I’m preoccupied living my own life. Still trying to write the story I want.

It’s a new call to surrender. To say yes. To exchange my white flag for His…no matter the color or shape.

Am I content if this is my “it?” No casual yes. I must think on this. Gut check. Heart check. Really believe that “He who has called me is faithful.”

“He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.” (1 Thessalonians 5:24)

“God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.” (1 Corinthians 1:9)

photo(27) A final throwback pic!

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