Notes From If-Part 3 (Prayer doesn’t work)

Thoughts from the day we left Austin to fly home. I was kind of a mess!=)…

What did I learn this weekend? My immediate response-“Prayer doesn’t work.”

We prayed Jeremy would get better. Trusted each new Dr and medicine would work. But a week later, now on a plane home with a still very sick husband, my faith is weak. “Prayer doesn’t work.” That’s my honest feeling right now.

If thinking clearly, my answer would be much different. It’s not something new I learned but a reminder. A smack in the face reminder-“God is only good.” I don’t want to swallow it because the fresh thoughts that “prayer doesn’t work” are colliding with the Spirit.

But my soul knows it. Deeply. In car wrecks that have haunted me through Jeremy’s weak eyes this weekend. In failed plans to serve God in Austin this weekend. He is good. Good.

When my prayers seem to be hitting the ceiling of a quiet hotel or the ceiling of a noisy plane He is still good.

Unanswered prayers suck. And hurt. And make me want to scream. But God is still good.

He listens as I complain. He holds me as I punch the air. He asks me to dance, to trust Him, to keep praying in the pain. He is good.

I will keep saying it in hopes I will one day believe it no matter the state of my prayers.

“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:31,32)

…And thankfully, Jeremy is much better now that we’re back in NC!

130 (Beating the Red Dragon at Great Wolf Lodge last December…notice Jeremy’s smug look of accomplishment, and Caleb’s hands in the air!!)

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4 comments

  1. Not getting the answer we want is always hard to swallow. Or even not getting it when we want it. But, yes, God is always good. And usually, what I’ve found (and continue to find) is that ultimately His answer is always better than what I asked for!

    Glad Jeremy’s feeling better and I’m so sorry the conference wasn’t what you had planned it would be. Maybe one day, God will fill you in on why! 🙂

  2. You know, Tiffany, one of the things I appreciate the most about you? You are honest . . . sometimes brutally so. When it isn’t what people want to hear – I mean most of us would say, “I can’t say that – what would people think of my faith? What do I think of my faith?” But everyone – I mean EVERYone struggles with doubt and grumbling when the answers to our prayers are long in coming or not the ones we wanted! Many times we won’t admit it – even to ourselves.
    Thanks – I enjoyed reading the last couple of blogs – I’m sorry about the disappointments, struggles, and sickness you experienced but God has already redeemed them for “good” because I am one person whose heart was touched and moved by your words!

    1. Thanks Velvet! Lots of times I have to run things by Jeremy first, because he is my filter.=) At If, though, he was sick, so I just wrote away. It was a release for me, and a chance to be still. Thanks for the encouragement! Hope your family is well!

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