During worship recently Matt Papa touched on identity. It’s so easy to place our worth on things besides God. One way to figure that out is to consider your fears. Hmm…easy for me. I just did 3 blog posts on that.
To be completely honest would be to admit that yes, when my jeans don’t fit, homeschool makes someone cry, and my life seems like one big excuse of monotony that I consider myself a failure. My identity so easily shifts from what I know to what I feel. It shifts from what God says about me to what I assume others must realize. And I flounder, too busy trying to cover things up that I miss the beauty of being real.
I wrote the following back in 2009. It was right after we moved here. Seems like this journey is ongoing…
*”What is my identity based on?” is the question that even now I cannot get out of my mind. At Union Grove, I feel like my identity was based a lot on our ministry. I was “the student pastor’s wife” and clearly knew and loved my roles. After the wreck, I think my identity shifted a little to “Tiffany Pollard…miracle family.” That was great, but it was definitely not something I could hang onto. With the arrival of the boys came once again another identity…”Stephen and Caleb’s Mommy.” And, of course, there’s always the identity of “Jeremy’s wife.” Now, I’m just not sure what my identity is based on. I’m not involved enough at the Summit yet to claim that ministry as part of my identity.
Who am I and on what do I base my identity? Here’s where the Holy Spirit came in!…All of the things I mentioned above are great things. In fact, I love carrying some of those names. The bigger issue here, though, is the fact that my identity cannot solely lie in those things. In a moment, they could each be taken away and then who would I be?
My identity should and absolutely MUST rest in Christ! I must base who I am on what God has done for me and how perfectly He loves me. Any other human basis would be such a mistake (and eventually unreliable). I’ve realized for the first time in my life that I have always lived basing my identity on temporal things. I know Christ and love Him, but I have yet to truly realize that He alone is the foundation for my identity; for who I am.
Learning then…Learning 4+ years later. I’m so thankful God is patient with me. And I’m thankful He offers me an identity, His child, that never changes.
“I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.” (Jeremiah 31:3b)